When things don't go exactly as planned

It's always great to have a plan, even better when you actually stick to that plan!! So while camping this weekend, I said I was going to track every day and that I was going to reach 100% of my active link goal everyday. Well here's how the weekend actually went:

I got super stressed out trying to get everything packed and leave on time. I ended up eating two hot dogs and a little mac and cheese before even leaving for the trip. We get to the site and turn on the radio to here we are now setting up camp in the middle of a tornado warning! Bring on my complete panic....My husband wanting nothing more than me to relax and help him, in case something actually happened. I decided I wasn't going to cook dinner so turkey and cheese sandwiches it was! I also drank one green tea gingerale. I reached 130% of my active link goal and earned 6 activity points. I only tracked for half of the day.

Saturday, I woke up had 2 eggs, 3 sausage links and an apple for breakfast. For lunch I had some  a lot of cheese curls a hot dog and a turkey burger. We went on a hike it was roughly 2-2 1/2 miles through the woods, a lot of which I was carrying my 2 1/2 year old daughter. I woke up and eat a ham and cheese sandwich and has another apple with a string cheese. I later ate some cookies and grapes. I also had 1/2 a chicken drumstick and some mac and cheese. I reached 170% of my active link goal and earned 10 activity points on Saturday.

This morning I fixed breakfast for everyone. I had one pancake and some sausage and a glass of apple juice. After packing up camp, coming home and unpacking and then getting the kids a bath and getting a shower myself, I never ate any lunch. my hubby fixed hamburgers on the grill for dinner and I was so hungry I also ate a small bag of chips, an apple sauce and a ham and cheese sandwich on a hamburger roll. :( as of right now I am at 80% of my goal and 1 activity point for today. I really want to tell you that I am going for a walk shortly and I will reach my goal but that more than likely isn't going to happen. I am so tired that its only 6 pm and I am already, ready for bed!

This week is really hit or miss as far as the scale goes, my plan is to track my weekend the best I can now, after the fact so I am at least aware of what I did each day and pick it back up tomorrow. I have been walking and staying on track for the most part this week. I know I did have some off moments but I am willing to face it and move on...LOL

Tomorrow is a new day, I will track everything before I eat, I will keep off the scale and I will get my walk in, maybe even two walks :) Oh and something that is super exciting!!! Tomorrow I am starting the Insanity workout!! Hope all goes well :)

Going Away

The family is going camping this weekend and normally have the attitude of "oh well, I can't help it if we are going away, I'll just have to get back on track next week" but instead this time around I decided that it is going to be a good week!!

We are going with friends but that didn't matter to me, I did all the shopping for the trip and made sure that I had snack food that I liked and that is healthy and weight watcher friendly. I have my mind made up that I am going to get in some activity every day while we are away and I am going to still track!! My active link is charged and ready to go :)

I used to be the person that wasn't to sure about telling people that I am on weight watchers but now I realize that it is a part of who I am. While I am not going to have the comfort of my own home and I am not going to be able to make a smoothie for breakfast, I am going to be able to make egg whites, I have fruit and there's plenty of space to walk!!

I will be sure to fill you all in on how it goes when I get home. My goal for the week is to still eat only three meals a day and two snacks. To get in all my activity and reach 100% of my active link goal each day. To track what I eat all weekend. Be happy and enjoy myself!!! This is going to be  trial run for when we go on our actual week vacation to the beach in Aug.

I am excited for this weekend and for my meeting on Tuesday!!! See you all when I get back :)

You find out who your friends are

Real friends are there for you no matter what. They are boldly honest even when they know you don't want to hear it and you're probably going to get your feelings hurt.

I started my weight loss journey the last week of September of 2012. I started this journey with a friend.  Someone that I have knew for a long time. Over the years we have grown apart and I thought we had grown closer and back together. 

I realize now that we have gotten closer but not in all the ways I had thought or even hoped we would have. I still love her like a sister and I know she is always there if I need her but we are two different people at two different places in our lives.

Someone told me that weight loss does one of two things it brings people together or it will tear them apart. I have found this to be very true. I have noticed that I find myself getting upset with friends I have had my whole life because they will say something about what I am doing. I get upset because they have ever had to struggle with their weight and yet all of a sudden they know it all. I get upset with family members because they try to tell me that the program doesn't work, yet here I am 32lbs smaller because of the program.

I don't say anything to the people that upset me however, I usually just let it go and complain to someone else about it. I have also seen it bring me closer to people that I haven't been close to in years! And I have met lots of new people as well. Something that I didn't think would happen. I can sit here and tell you honestly that I am very happy about this journey and all that comes with it!! The good, the bad, and the ugly!!

Just remember to value your friends! I know I do, which is why when they hurt me, I let it sit for a while and look at the big picture before telling them I am hurt. I need to sit back and see where they are coming from. True friends are being honest with you they are not trying to hurt you. You find out who your friends are because you will tell them you are hurt because of what they said or did and when you wake up tomorrow they are still there. :) 

It's been to long!

I realize I haven't blogged in a while. So the quick update is this: I didn't loose 4lbs like I wanted to. I did loose 1.4 that week which I shouldn't have. I have kind of lost my faith in the program and I find myself getting on the scale every day and instead of being sure to follow the plan no matter what, what I do each day would depend solely on the number on the scale. If it was lower than the day before I would slack off and take the day with ease. And on the same note, if the number on the scale wasn't what I wanted I would get depressed and not do so well.

Last week I decided that I am not going to get on the scale at all and I am going to follow the plan and see what happens. I was down .2. Not what I was looking for but I'll take it because I didn't get in the activity that I need to in order to get the results that I want. I also didn't track for two or three days.

I am starting to realize that I need to focus on the program and following it! That's what's going to give me the results that I want. I have been following this program since Oct but feel like I am brand new because I wasn't really using the tools of the program or following it like I  should have been all along. I almost feel like I am just getting started.

When I first started loosing weight I would still eat crap and not really pay attention to what I was putting in my mouth. Ummm HELLO!!! That's why I am so fat in the first place!! I mean seriously, I was at me biggest on my wedding day, a day when most women are smaller because they have lost weight to look their best. Even that wasn't good enough for me, it took another year before I would take that first step.

Now after I have lost 32lbs, I am finally ready to eat healthier. I see so many people that workout and eat healthy and I want to be those people. I want my children to be healthy and not have to worry about people making fun of them because they are fat, or letting their weight hold them back. For the longest time I hated going anywhere because I was always the fat girl. I am still fat unhealthy I am sure but I am taking the steps to getting healthy.

I have decided that I am no longer going to let things in life hold me back or stop me fro being the person that I want to be. I have joined a fitness group on facebook and I am starting the INSANITY workout program with my sister in law next week! It will be hard but I know we can do it!!!

Keeping it real and getting back at it

I realized at my meeting Tuesday that if someone that is a lifetime member of weight watchers and at their goal weight can still loose 4.2lbs in a week, then why the hell can't I? Easy!! I CAN!!!! All I need to do is get real!

Weight watchers is a program with many different parts for a reason. I know it works when you follow the program. I was sitting in my meeting and it was like "A" (my leader) was speaking directly to me! I need to track and I need to get in my activity. I need to eat my fruits and veggies. I need to follow my good health checks! This week I am going ALL of these things!!

I got up and as soon as my meeting was over I bought a paper tracker!! I am an adult and I know what I need to do in order to reach my goal. I have been doing this long enough to know that I do better when I track. I also know that I am better at tracking when I use paper and pen. So, DO WHAT WORKS!!!

This week I have decided that I am keeping a close eye on my sugar in take, I am tracking everything!! everyday!!! I have set a goal of 25 activity points, (it's the end of day 2 and I am already half way there, so I am totally counting on more than 25) I am getting healthier in general (Even if this means cooking two dinners, which I did both last night and tonight)

I am going to be away all weekend for a wedding and I fully plan on staying on plan!! I am taking my tracker and my scale! I will be sure to hit 100% of my activelink goal each day that I am away. I will no longer just sit back and "hope" I am doing enough, from this day forward I will KNOW that what I am doing is enough!!

I will not let people bring me down. I will not let people that have never struggled with their weight tell me that they "know" what is best for me and I will not let these people bother me. If you are not my doctor than you can not tell me that I am wrong! I know the program works!! I have seen it with my own eyes. I am walking proof that it works and soon enough people will look at me and I will be "that" girl.

You know the one you look at and think "God, I hate that skinny bitch" YES this is my goal in life! To be the girl that your husband breaks his neck to look at while you smack him because you are on a date together. The one that eats an ice cream or BIG ol' piece of cake an you think "I hate her". Only you won't know that I once was 260lbs and I have fought my way skinny! and healthy!! I will keep up the fight and while I might hit a rough spot here or there and loose a battle or two I WILL win the war!!!

I leave you with my week so far:

I took a trip to the grocery store and I am very proud to say this is what I bought!! My cart before weight watchers was full of processed foods that were really bad for me but now it's full of produce :-) the whole family has started eating healthier. 

I realized that my fat roll on my back right under my arm and above where my bra falls is almost gone!! I love that I am starting to see these results. It's easy to see the number on the scale go down but it helps you feel better about yourself when you can actually see the results in other areas as well!! 

This was breakfast yesterday. 3 egg whites, half a roll with butter, and 3 slices of giant brand microwaveable bacon and a pinch of 2% cheese. 7 weight watchers points plus value. It was really good and filling. I didn't even eat anything until lunch. 

When I decided on a ww string cheese, half a ham and cheese sandwich on light 7 grain bread with 2 pickles. For a total of 4 ww points plus value. Again this kept me full until dinner :-)

This was def my favorite meal of the day. I cooked and ate spaghetti squash for the first time ever!!!! Soooo good. I added 3oz of grilled turkey breast and some spaghetti sauce. For a total of 5 points plus value. This is a big plate of food and I wasn't even able to finish it!! I will tell you spaghetti squash is zero points plus value and very filling!!! 

Here we have my new "before & during" picture. There is a 10 month difference between these two pictures and 30.2lbs!!!! I will NEVER again be that big!! With those 30 lbs I have dropped 3-4 pants sizes and 4-5 dress sizes!!! Tell me that isn't amazing!! I have gained so much more though. I can't wait to see what us in store for me and my future. Who's coming with me???

Bouncing back

After getting real with myself last week I realized I need to get my act together if I am going to get to my goal. I follow someone on Instagram that has lost over 150lbs with weight watchers and she has NEVER used a gym, another woman was lost over 50lbs and has lost every week for the last 9-10 weeks. I want to be these women.

I look at what they are doing and I am trying to model my daily life off of them. This week I have tracked everything that I put in my mouth and I have found that even though I am making better choices and far as healthier choices I am having a hard time staying within my points for the day. I know I have "extras" for the week and I am earning activity points but I don't like to use these points. I have found myself asking how I am ever going to be able to do this when  I am down to just 26 points a day?

I struggle because I didn't have this problem before then I realize that's because I was "cheating" I wasn't adding up my points properly of I would put something in my tracker because it looked good even though I was eating something else or more than what was listed. By doing this I was only cheating myself. I wasn't being honest with myself. I was hurting myself and causing myself to fail.

This week my goal is to track everything!! No matter what it is or how many points it is, It needs to go into my tracker and it needs to go in my tracker honestly!! I have had so many people tell me that they are happy for me and proud of me for my weight loss. I have even had more than one person join weight watchers because of me and my journey. I want to continue to make these people happy.

When I fail I don't just fail myself I fail all of my followers and supporters as well. I have thought about how good it feels to loose the weight and how good it feels to buy smaller clothes :-) Something else that feels good is seeing my goal jars. When I made them back when I joined weight watchers my "pounds to loose" jar was filled all the way to the top, now there's lots of room in that jar. And today was the first time I looked at myself in the mirror and thought "wow you really can tell that I've lost weight." I haven't made it any secret that I have been loosing weight and that is just one more reason that I need to bounce back and get focused again.

Two weeks ago I lost 1.8lbs (got out of my funk) and last week I was down 0.2 (hit my 30lbs goal) Now that I have done these two things I am ready to reach for the stars. My next goal is 35lbs, I know I can do it and I will do it. I am focused and ready to go. I have a busy weekend and a surprise in store...I'll fill you in on that a little later :-) I know this week will be another good one!!

I really did give up :(

I haven't blogged in a while but here goes!! I am being totally honest here. My whole funk put me in a really bad mood. I haven't been working out like I should. I haven't tracked a single thing I put in my mouth in weeks!! NOT GOOD!! HEY!! Maybe that's why you can't get out of this funk! Just saying....

I have decided that while yes I lost 1.8lbs last week and I fully plan on loosing again this week, Tuesday I am seriously putting my foot down and getting back into the game. I told my husband, I feel like a fraud. When I gain I am not just letting myself down but I am letting down all of my followers and everyone that has been cheering for my success. I have two small children that look up to me and I need to show them that it's ok to hit a bump in the road as long as you don't give up. I have been saying all this time that I am not giving up, but really I have given up, on the program and on myself. :-(

Yes I have kept going to meetings and I have been walking a couple days a week but I know that isn't enough to get where I need and want to be. I have given myself a couple of days to really refocus and think about what I need to do for me. This is something that I have clearly been having trouble with lately. I need to start telling myself the truth. And the truth is I have been in a funk not because my body is used to what I am doing but because I have not been doing what needs to get done!!